The RoboCop Reboot

Usually i don't talk about movies unless they have already been made. But this one is a bit different for me. I grew up on the original Robocop movies and i loved everything about them. One of the biggest things for me was that Peter Weller actually looked like his head had been put into an actual robot. This wasn't some lame man wearing a rubber suit, this actually looked like a robot.

His head was great for the time period, his joints all looked and moved like a machine would. The great concept of the story was that a man could give a machine a soul. Now i've been seeing previews for the new Robocop movie and i was(I stress was) kind've getting excited. I expected them to maintain the machine like look, but with much better graphics. Then just today i saw what a pic of what they are planning to pass off as the new robocop.

I have to stop and say. This is a guy in some lame rubber suit. Why would they do this? Is Hollywood really this stupid? Or are they playing to a crowd that has never seen the originals and wont care what he looks like. Afterall Hollywood only cares about what the 18-25 want anyway right? This new suit is straight up LAME! Is the new Robocop going to save Gotham instead of Detroit? This looks like a bad rip off of Val Kilmer/George Clooney area of Batman movies that just about killed the franchise. So i had to post about this movie now. To try and get through to Hollywood, that this movie is gonna BOMB! BADLY! Unless you hire someone with some vision to see they are currently heading down the tubes.

The Divide (2012)

******************SPOILERS*************DONT READ ANY FURTHER IF U HAVENT SEEN THE MOVIE YET BECAUSE I WILL BE SPOILING IT FOR YOU ANY FURTHER********

Ok if you like movies that start off with a bang, I mean a real big BANG! Then you will like the beginning at least. The movie immediately starts off with the main character Eva (Lauren German, who was awesome by the way) starring out of her apartment window as nuclear missles land all over the city destroying everything around them. Her fiancé Sam (Ivan Gonzales) drags her away as everyone in the building runs to the bottom, only to realize that they are fixing to get hit. A group see the Super Mickey(Michael Biehn, another brilliant job) shutting the door to his basement bunker and manage to force their way in just before the building is destroyed. If you are watching this movie for explosions, and destructions, well that was it sorry. The rest of the movie is going to be about how crazy people can get living in a fallout shelter as the Nuclear Apocalypse happens above them. The group Eva, Sam,, Mickey, Josh(Milo Ventimiglia (Heros)), his brother Adrien(Ashton Holmes), Josh’s friend Bobby(Michael Eklund), and a another man Delvin(Courtney B. Vance), along with a mother Marilyn (Patricia Arquette), and her daughter Wendi (Abbey Thickson) get along the best they can eating beans and trying to stay sane as the world above them crashes down. That is till they finally hear the sounds of what seems like a rescue. Armed men who look like they are members of the Enclave from the Fallout series of games, storms in and holds the group hostage as they kidnap the Wendi knocking her out before sticking her in a bag. Even creepier the group never identifies itself, and no words can be understood. The group spreads out and trying to survive as the military men in very futuristic biohazard suits moves around trying to kill them. But the group wins and manages to kill at least two. Only Adrien is shot, and its up to Eva to fix him. When they took off his mask and I saw he was oriental my first thought was China, but later Delvin picks up some chatter that sounds as if they were American.
Josh dresses up in their suits and makes his way through a paper tunnel that reminded me of Resident Evil till he made his way to a surgery area, where various guys in suits are sorting out human parts in jars, and other creepy stuff. Finally he finds Wendi, only she’s been shaved, and put in some creepy incubator, she looks sort of alive like in hibernation till Josh is found out. Josh’s breather is pulled and he races to get back to the bunker killing a couple soldiers on the way. The soldiers weld the door close locking them forever down in the bunker with no way out. From then on things get creepier, kinky and worse as the group starts to unravel attacking each other in further barbaric ways. Mickey is found out by Delvin as hoarding food, and during a fight Mickey kills him. The group doesn’t believe it was self defense, and want the combination to the food. Josh and his puppy like friend Bobby torture him as he’s tied in a chair till he gives up the combination, even cutting off a finger. With their previous leader now dethroned Josh takes charge. The only problem the air he breathed upstairs had radiation, and he slowly starts to go crazier, and crazier. Taking what he wants till he’s nothing but a cliche post apocalyptic bad guy with a shaved head. Marilyn gave herself to Bobby, he uses her in various ways which get sicker, and sicker as the movie progresses. Eva and her timid man Sam take, and take as Eva starts to move closer to Adrien as he acts like a real man. Finally Eva finds out that there is another way out threw the septic system.
In a move of desperation she and Sam go for a gun Mickey told them about, which ends with a lot of yelling and Adrien being shot once again in just about the same place. Eva kills Bobby who has gone shaved head tranny after screwing Marilyn till she died, just before he was about to kill Josh. Finally Eva gets the gun and unties Mickey who shoots Josh, who decides to kill everyone since he cant live by throwing down a oil lamp. Eva being a survivor runs and puts on the biohazard suit, and locks herself in so that Mickey and Sam can’t follow. They would have probably tried to take the suits for themselves by then, so as far as I’m concerned she made the right choice. She moves through the septic tank of dead bodies, and crap as the two other survivors are killed by the gas fire. Then she walks drags herself up, and walks through the destroyed New York with a bag of food as the movie ends.
Alright here’s my ratings: Acting performances 10/10, Story 3.3/10, Overall 5/10 mainly due to a few things. Even though I have a real soft spot for horror/Scifi, and apocalypse movies what really hurt in the end was few things that just really irritated me after the movie was over. 1) I wanted to know who started what, what happened to the rest of the word. 2) I want to know what happens to Eva after she walks out into the city. 3) I want to know who those guys where and why the hell they weren’t worried about anyone but the children they put in incubators(Probably going to use them to repopulate the world???)Honestly the ending felt like one of those you get with all those Resident Evil movies. Where you have more questions than answers which really sucks since I’m not sure at all if there will ever be a part two that explains more, nor a book or anything to tell me what I want to know. The Divide was written by Karl Mueller and Eron Sheean, and directed by Xavier Gens.

Contraband 2012

A remake of a 2009 Icelandic film of which I can't begin to pronounce. It stars Mark Wahlberg (Chris Faraday), who is becoming the kind of actor that you only expect hits, Kate Beckinsale (Kate Faraday) who I haven't seen out of spandex in a while, Giovanni Ribisi (Tim Briggs) who only seems to play white trash, or a small time hood anymore, and Ben Foster (Sebastian Abney) who seems to only play the friend you not quite sure you can trust. This story shows the tale of a ex-smuggler who gave up the life for the good life of a white picket fence, wife and kids, and normal job. Only you guessed it, he gets pulled back in and has to make one final run to save his whole clan when his wife’s brother(Caleb Andy Jones as Andy) pulls a bone head move and gets in deep after dumping the package on a run. A story like this can get a little predictable, but director Baltasar Kormakur does a adequate job of keeping the action up, and throwing in a little twist now and then to keep it entertaining enough. But overall a seasoned film-goer will see some thing’s coming. A strong performance by Wahlberg helps keep this from being just another run of the mill getting out of trouble with gangsters flick. This movie is for the man of the house who loves to watch them get away with it, and keep his family safe at the same time. Oh and really come out ahead if the plan works out right 7 out of 10

Troll Hunter (2010)

This is another movie that kind of surprised me at being a lot better than anticipate. You know what I’m talking about you hear about a movie from a friend that sounds like its going to be awful and its not. Not only that its very entertaining. That the case with Troll Hunter. Warning though if you can’t find a copy that isn’t dubbed, you will have to settle for subtitled as this is a movie made in Norway. The basic story shows a group of Norwegian college students who begin to follow what they believe is a poacher around. Then they find out that he is actually a government sanctioned Troll hunter. Who’s job is to keep the Trolls in line and hunt and kill those who stray out of their zones, or too close to humans. The rest of the movie follows the students and they film the hunter. Who has grown tired of the job, large risk, low pay and no respect and he wants to expose the truth. One of the constants in the film is how the director truly captures the beauty and scenery of Norway. From the waterfalls, beautiful lakes and streams to the extreme frozen wasteland in which the film ends.The Trolls themselves are shockingly well done and very believable. They are also very funny at times, mixed in with a savage brutality that you should expect as if seeing them for real. I recommend this to the most rabid of horror fans, and to the ordinary fans who are just looking for a good tale to pass the time. 7 out of 10

Attack the Block (2011)

I'm a sure that just about all of reading this have not heard of the movie. There are many reasons for this, mainly its British. I heard about this movie from a friend of a friend, of a friend who once knew my sister, etc. When i first started to watch this i wasn't sure if it was going to be one of those B-Movies that turns into a C, or D, or worse. The more i watched the more it began to grow on me and one of the more entertaining horror movies i've seen in a while. The hero's or should i say anti-hero's of this flick are a bunch of hoodlums in South London that spend their nights mugging people and generally stealing anything not nailed down. You start the movie waiting for them to get their due, like most horror movies until you realize that they are the main characters. The main body of the story is a bunch of kids versus an alien invasion. The more i watched the more it felt like an up to date Goonies told from the point of view of just ordinary teens who are just trying to survive in a tough neighborhood. Director Joe Cornish pulled of a thrilling tale using mostly unknown actors. The dark humor mixed with thrilling chase scenes, and a general feeling of anyone could die at any moment left me wanting more. I can whole heartily recommend this film for rapid horror buffs, and for a couple looking for a good movie to watch as they enjoy dinner. 8 out of 10